Gary Delaney is to release his first book of jokes, ‘Pundamendalist’ published by Headline on 1st October.
Featuring the likes of:
- Garden centres can’t reopen fast enough for me, I’ve been living on borrowed thyme.
- We can’t even afford a garden, so when my girlfriend bought us a trampoline I hit the roof.
- Sure everyone cares about straws killing dolphins now, but they’ve been breaking camels’ backs for years.
- Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration, which explains why Prince Andrew is so stupid.
- Sad news: The British simile champion has died. We shall not see his like again.
- My mom doesn’t trust my dad’s secretary. I asked her why, and she just said ‘I’ve seen her type before’.
- Today someone told me that I look good with a salt ‘n’ pepper beard, so I took that as a condiment.
- My French pen friend just said ‘Le Monde’, which means the world to me.
- Can anyone tell me what FOMO stands for? Everyone else seems to know.
- Actors have got Equity, Magicians have got the Magic Circle, but it’s a shame ventriloquists don’t have anyone to speak for them.
- Does anyone know if it’s safe to dye your pubes? It’s a bit of a grey area.
And make sure you look out for Gary’s next book, about Stockholm Syndrome: it starts off badly but by the end you’ll really enjoy it . . .