Hal Cruttenden


"An absolute joy to watch"

The Scotsman

Hal Cruttenden is one of the top stand up comedians working in the UK today, as well as being a highly accomplished writer and actor.

He has made several appearances on ‘Live at the Apollo’ (BBC1 and 2), ‘Have I Got News For You’ (BBC1) and ‘The Royal Variety Performance’ (ITV) as well as his regular appearances on shows such as ‘Mock the Week’ (BBC2), ‘The Great British Bake Off: An Extra Slice’ (BBC2 and Channel 4) and ‘The Apprentice: You’re Fired’ (BBC2). He’s written and starred in his own sitcom, ‘Hal’ on Radio 4 (co-written with Dominic Holland, and has released three full length shows on DVD and online -‘Tough Luvvie’ (Universal), ‘Straight Outta Cruttenden’ and ‘Chubster’ (NextUpComedy.com). He has toured the country extensively and, in the last two years, has also taken shows to the Melbourne Comedy Festival and the New Zealand Comedy Festival.

His other TV appearances include ‘The John Bishop Show’ (BBC1), ‘The Channel Four Comedy Gala’ (Channel 4), ‘The One Show’ (BBC1), ’Would I Lie To You’ (BBC1), ‘Kevin Bridges: Live at the Referendum’ (BBC1), ‘Sunday Night at the Palladium’ (ITV),‘Pointless Celebrities’ (BBC1), ‘Richard Osman’s House of Games’ (BBC2), ‘Guessable’ (Comedy Central), ’Michael McIntyre’s Comedy Roadshow’ (BBC1), ‘Celebrity Mastermind’ (BBC1), ’Let’s Dance For Comic Relief’ (BBC1), ‘The National Lottery Draw’ (BBC1), ’Comedy Rocks’ (ITV), ‘Celebrity Chase (ITV), ‘Celebrity Tipping Point’ (ITV), ’The Nightly Show’ (ITV), ‘John Bishop’s Only Joking (Sky One), ‘The Rob Brydon Show’ (BBC2), ‘Celebrity Squares’ (ITV), ‘The Jeremy Vine Show’ and ‘The Wright Stuff’ (Channel 5), ‘The Omid Djalili Show’ (BBC1), ‘The 11 O’Clock Show’ (Channel 4), ‘A Right Royal Quiz’ (ITV), ‘It’s Not Me, It’s You’ (Channel 5), ‘Edinburgh Comedy Fest Live’ (BBC3), ‘The Melbourne Comedy Festival Gala’ (Channel 10 Australia), ‘Comedy Central at the Comedy Store’ (Comedy Central), ‘Just For Laughs Gala’ (CBC Canada), ’Funny as Hell’ (BBC America), ‘George Stroumboulopoulos Tonight’ (CBC Canada), ‘The World Stands Up’ (Paramount Comedy Channel UK, The Comedy Channel Australia, Comedy Central and BBC America), ‘New Zealand International Comedy Festival Gala’, ‘7 Days’ and ‘The Project’ (all TV3 NZ).

Hal’s recently started presenting a comedy rugby podcast with Dan Skinner called ‘Rugby Jubbly’. As well as writing and acting in his sitcom ‘Hal’, other radio appearances include being a team captain on ‘Britain versus the World’ and spots on ‘Loose Ends’, ‘Act Your Age’, ‘Chat Show Roulette’ and ‘Four at the Store’  (all on Radio 4).

Hal has completed five nationwide tours in the last few years: ‘Chubster’ (2018/19), ’Straight Outta Cruttenden’(2015/16), ’Tough Luvvie’ (2013/14), ‘The Tiny Rage Tour’(2011) and ‘Lively (2010). He is also a three time Chortle Award nominee and was nominated for the Perrier Newcomer Award back at the Edinburgh Festival in 2002. He plans to tour again from the Autumn of 2021.

Having originally trained at the Central School of Speech and Drama, Hal’s acting career includes roles on TV and film in ‘Shackleton’; ‘Eastenders’; ‘Kavanagh QC’; ‘Out of the Blue’; ‘Touching Evil’ and ‘Bramwell’. He also appeared in the movie ‘Mrs Dalloway‘. Theatre work includes ‘Brexit’ and ‘Making News’ at the Edinburgh Festival and ‘Orwell A Celebration’ at Trafalgar Studios, London and the Edinburgh Festival. 

As well as his performances at Melbourne and the New Zealand Comedy Festival, Hal has appeared at Montreal’s Just For Laughs’ Festival three times and travelled all across Canada on their Just For Laughs Comedy tours. He has performed on two Just For Laughs Galas hosted by Joan Rivers (2008) and Howie Mandel (2012). Other international appearances include Kilkenny Cat Laughs Festival in Ireland and tours to India, Bermuda, the Netherlands, Switzerland, Belgium, Germany, Denmark, Norway, UAE, Qatar, Kuwait, Bahrain, Indonesia, China, Hong Kong and Singapore. For the British Armed Forces he has played gigs in the Falkland Islands, Cyprus and Germany. 

Hal’s DVD ‘Chubster’ is available at NextUPComedy.com

‘Straight Outta Cruttenden’ is available at Amazon Prime and NextUPComedy.com

‘Tough Luvvie’ is available at www.amazon.co.uk – Comedy CD entitled ‘Angry…but not sure why’ is also available at www.amazon.co.uk

'He had the audience in stitches’

★★★★★
Daily Record

‘Clearly on top form, Cruttenden consistently delivers full on laughs’

★★★★★
Edinburgh Evening News

‘The funniest he’s ever been”

★★★★
The Times

‘Go and see Hal Cruttenden, he’s got something to say and he’ll make you laugh; a lot.’

★★★★★
Daily Mirror

‘Naturally funny…challenging and provocative’

★★★★
Daily Telegraph

"An intelligent, laugh-packed show."

★★★★
Evening Standard

“An absolute joy to watch…fabulous”

★★★★
Scotsman

‘As close to flawless as you could wish for.’

★★★★
Melbourne Herald

“He had the audience eating out of his hands"

★★★★
Chortle

"Fabulous"

Scotland On Sunday

"You could see Hal play the O2…
he’s wonderful, truly wonderful"

Digital Spy
  • Guessable Comedy Central
  • Richard Osman's House of Games  BBC2
  • Have I Got News for You  BBC1
  • The Royal Variety Performance ITV
  • Great British Bake Off: An Extra Slice BBC2/C4
  • Celebrity Mastermind BBC1
  • Live at the Apollo BBC1
  • The Good the Bad and the Unexpected BBC Radio Scotland
  • Mock the Week BBC2
  • The Apprentice: You're Fired BBC2
  • When Popstars Go Horribly Wrong C5
  • Tipping Point ITV
  • Greatest Ever Wind Ups C5
  • Naughtiest Cats Caught on Camera C5
  • Fred Macaulay at the Stand BBC Radio Scotland
  • I just wanted to let you know that Hal went down a storm. Everyone loved him and I have had no negative feedback whatsoever. In fact, most people said that it was one of the best comedians we have had over the years. He hit just the right note. - The Music Publishers Association He went down an absolute storm, they really loved him and we had so many positive comments last night. He handled them perfectly, they can be quite a rowdy bunch but he kept them really engaged which was fantastic! It’s always lovely working with Hal, he’s a great guy.EMAP
  • It all went very well. Hal was great, the stand-up was very funny, and he interacted well with the audience. The awards went well too. He was also very pleasant and easy to deal with.Barker Brooks Media
  • Hal was a great speaker, very professional, very well received and was a pleasure to work with. He made the awards ceremony, which can be boring, entertaining and light hearted, but also kept the feeling that we are there to celebrate companies hard work. Faversham House Group
  • Short answer – he was hilarious!!! Had a great rapport with the audience and the sponsors as they came up to present, chatted away to winners when they collected their award, and really went down well with everyone. Nothing but positive feedback from all guests, and he was a nice guy as well so good from an organiser point of view too.Dewberry Redpoint
  • I wanted to that to say Hal was wonderful - on stage and off. He was very happy to mix in and was very relaxed which is very important to us. Please thank him for us for being such a lovely guy.Charlotte Sones, Commodities Now
  • Hal was absolutely fantastic and he went down a storm with the guests. Such a lovely man who was a pleasure to have met. Jayne Meegan, Blacklist Management Ltd
  • The Master of Ceremonies for the Awards Presentation was brilliant. I have not laughed that hard in some time. What a great way to give the Awards an extra edge. Well done on the awards presenter, I can't even remember the last time someone made me laugh that much! I was not the only one reduced to tears!The PAM Insight Awards
  • Hal was very professional before the event as well as helpful and co-operative on the night. His performance was very funny and had just the right level of tailored material for what was quite a select audience - thank you!Eva Schmitt, Premier Foods Group Ltd
  • Hal was a great success with the IoD Northern Ireland audience at our Annual Dinner. Amy Harrison Hal was fantastic and really well received by all of our guests. He was so engaging with the audience and was a real pleasure to work with.Linda R Brown, Director, IoD Northern Ireland
  • Hal was absolutely brilliant – what a lovely man as well. He had us all in fits of laughter, I haven’t heard a single piece of negative feedback about him from the evening. The audience loved him, he gave everyone a really good laugh!Rachael Game, CNR
  • I was at the Third Sector Awards on Thursday night and I just wanted to drop you a note to say how fabulous Hal was! He got the tone of the room just right and was extremely entertaining. I will definitely keep him in mind for hosting work in the future.Rachel Walker, Marie Curie
  • Hal was fantastic on Friday night ... very good craic indeed! .... Thank you for arranging everything for him to be with us, much appreciated. Leo Callow, Callow Events
  • I just wanted to say a huge thank you to Hal. Our clients and staff really enjoyed his performance and not only that but he was an absolute gent when we delayed him by an hour. Jones Lange LaSalle
  • Just a note to say Hal did an absolutely brilliant job on Thursday night for the UK Energy Innovation Awards. He was the perfect balance of funny, endearing and genuine, we received extremely positive comments from the client, sponsors and guests alike. From our perspective he was a delight to work with, nothing was too much trouble. Great recommend, we’ll definitely use Hal again for future events.UK Energy Innovation Awards.
  • Hal Cruttenden was brilliant. He was so spontaneous, judged the audience well, presented the awards bits of the evening in a timely and often funny manner and was a delight, really pleased with how the whole event went, sincere thanks to you and Hal.City Accountants Awards
  • Hal was AMAZING. The best response we have ever had to comedians at this even in all the years that it has been run. Absolutely fantastic! McDonald Butler
  • It went really well and Hal was brilliant! Lots of laughs all round!JLA

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